my attempt at goodbye

I cant pretend that I dont still love you I hate every minute of every day that goes by and I am without you I hate looking at our old pics and flix cuz those were some of the best times ive had in my life when i told you that i loved you that shit hit from a different spot i dont tell people i love them if i dont mean it and that first i love you to you was from the heart i knew when you slipped up and said i love you that everything i had ever doubted about love wasnt really true and even tho we are apart i never doubted your love for me and thats what keeps me going everyday that i hate that your not in my life anymore i havent cried so many tears for one person in my life but everyday for months i couldnt help but let them flow down my cheeks because it was me who ultimately ripped out your heart i could see it in your eyes on the days when you were so mean that i couldnt understand why you were doin those things to me that the words were just words but you were hurt and it was all my fault i should have taken better care of our time together i should have let you guide me to a life where I could still wake up to you and thank God that you were made for me and our souls finally met on some random shit on a day that just so happened to be the day that love is celebrated and im glad it was you who came to my rescue cuz that day has always been hard for me it seems like the people who i care for the most but loose in the worst ways always make their way in to my life on valentines day I miss you so much and I try not to show it but today aint one of them days i can stop the replays of every memory we made together and i cant stop the feelings of regret and anger and if i had only been a lil less of a littith and more like eve then i would still have my baby my daddy nugget my king i always feel like you miss me too and i hope you do but i know you are gonna be the one who i pushed away but you never came back even after the promises we mad that no matter how hard things got we wouldnt lose our way but i gave up when you needed me to be the strongest i could be im so weak and felt like i could always push you and you would stand strong and endure the bipolar episodes and the maniac mood swings but you left me in the midst of the typical borderline split that i tried to teach you about and I think thats why i hurt so bad because that me wasnt really me i was just somebody stuck in my head that ended up coming out into reality and she took away the love i deserved more than anything and left me broken and empty and my heart searching for yours again i think you will run from me for eternity cuz youre the one soul who couldnt be taken by me i will look for you but never find you and you will look for me and never find me and thats because we completed each other so perfectly now we're just out here trying to unbreak the broken but it will never be i love you cash and you never will understand how much our time really made me realize that you saw the flaws in me and you accepted that part i was 100 percent myself around you and ive never been able to do that and i miss you so much but i know i fucked up and you aint coming back but i wish you a happy life even tho its not with me but thank you for being my man through a time in my life where i needed you as fucked up as my life is you were the one thing that gave me the stregth to keep going and do bette